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Inside This Issue

Engaging Conflict??
-- Rev. Bonnie Vegiard, Program Minister

Conflict is a word that most of us would rather avoid. We all have a variety of experiences with conflict in our personal lives, family lives, as well as in nearly every other group we've ever been a part of. And yes, conflict does happen in church.

But do we really have to talk about it? These experiences have been pretty painful. Why even think about engaging conflict?

If we look at conflict a little differently just for a moment, and define it as differences of opinion that will exist in all areas of our lives (where we deal with anyone else) then we can see that conflict is natural. If we know it's natural, that it's gonna happen, then we can perhaps see that thinking about how we deal with it an advance of its happening can make the whole thing less painful. In fact, if we pay close attention to how we deal with conflict, these moments in our lives can become very productive. Differences of opinion, well expressed and respectfully attended to, can lay the groundwork for new and innovative action and can deepen relationships and trust. That's clearly what we want happening in our congregation.

There is no major congregational issue that is currently on the scene. While there are many differences of opinion about all kinds of things in the church, and surely some folks are unhappy about things here and there, there is no current tension-filled topic that everyone is buzzing about. This makes now a good time to think proactively about how we will faithfully handle conflict in the future.

We have access to two trainers from our Central Midwest District who specialize in training church "Conflict Engagement Teams." This team of Eliot members will learn to look at the different ways conflict is expressed, how conflict can be negotiated in a congregation. They will certainly look at our congregational history to see how we've dealt with conflict in the past (so the Great Organ Wars and other difficult times may come up.) They will be a resource available in the congregation for whatever differences of opinion the future may hold. Their job will be to intervene before conflict gets to a painful stage; to be sure people are able to talk together with respect and honesty. Then, as we go ahead with big projects such as the Strategic Planning process (I certainly don't expect we'll be able to make a plan about the next several years of congregational life without strong differences of opinion!) this team will help facilitate a caring respectful process.

We'll be doing the training next month. If anyone wants to know more, please contact me. I think this is a great opportunity for all of us to learn how to deal with conflict better, in all the places in our lives where it occurs.

We Want to Know…
-- Susan Maginn, Intern Minister

The Welcoming Congregation Committee is asking everyone at Eliot Chapel to complete a survey. This anonymous survey is designed to understand how we, as a congregation, feel about gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgendered people. The results from this survey will shape the Welcoming Congregation Committee's programming choices in the upcoming months.

The survey is being distributed Sunday Jan. 11 and 18. You also can print the survey on line.

During the week, surveys can be left in the box in Adams Hall or in Susan Maginn's mailbox (which is in the copy room, just down from Adams Hall.) The last day to submit a survey will be Jan. 25.

Any questions or concerns can be addressed to Susan Maginn at or (314) 821-0911.

Calling all Young Artists for Creative Correspondence

The children of Eliot Chapel are invited to make unique, handmade note cards that will be auctioned off at Eliot Chapel's Heart and Hand Auction on Feb. 14, Valentines Day! Making stations will be set up in Children's Chapel after both services on Feb. 1 from approximately 10:15 a.m. - 12:45 p.m. Please encourage all Eliot kids to come by and make some one-of-a-kind note cards. If you have any questions or would like to help during our day of creativity, please contact Tracy Drissell.

Library Committee

A very important meeting will be held on Jan. 18, after second service, in the DuBois Library. We will be discussing plans for the Book Fair. If you need more information, contact Irmgard Voss.

Family Singers

The Family Singers are looking for adults and children to sing in Family Worship Services Feb. 8 and Mar. 21. Songs have not yet been chosen, but are likely to be easy access a capella or gospel/spiritual pieces. Children between 6 and 11 years and adults of all ages are welcome. Rehearsals will be on Jan. 25 and Feb. 1 between services and at 8:30 a.m. on Feb. 8 and Mar. 21, the Sundays of the performances. It is not necessary to attend both rehearsals. You may sing at one or both of the Family Worship Services on performance days. For more information or to join the Family Singers contact Mary Taylor.

Recycle Your UU World Magazine -- David Snetsinger

The People Committee wishes to obtain back copies of UU World to provide to prospective members stopping at Visitors' Corner or in New "U" Classes. Drop off copies of your recent issues at Visitors' Corner and we will see that they get passed on for a second reading.

Room at the Inn
-- Judy Evans

Your help is needed to volunteer for Host, Cook, Laundry, and Driver. Please use the sign up calendar sheets on the bulletin board in hallway between sanctuary and Adams Hall.

A special thanks to Sally Schoenecker and the Eliot Nursery School. Once again, Sally organized the effort and the Nursery School has donated many supplies for use at the RATI shelter in Bridgeton. The shelter was grateful that our Nursery School helped brighten the Christmas of their homeless clients.

No one has stepped forward yet to fill the shoes of several Eliot Room At The Inn founders. After almost 12 years of leading the program, we want to pass the torch. Is Room At The Inn a program that Eliot no longer wishes to support? Please contact me if you want to help keep the program viable.

Hosea House
-- Don Sery

Winter has really arrived - and with it the needs for food at Hosea House have taken on greater urgency.

Please consider contributing $l0 - $l2 worth of items in these categories, which should be left in the shopping cart in Adams Hall:

• Canned fruits, vegetables, beans, pasta, and meats.
• Non-glass peanut butter, jelly, preserves.
• Hygiene items/baby supplies.

Hosea House is especially grateful for Eliot's' wonderful response for food and clothing in 2003. It seems however, that they currently do not need clothing.

Thanks again for your wonderful support over the past 10 years.

Human Justice Sunday
"Rediscovering the Dream"

I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. -- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Sylvester. Brown, Jr., a metro columnist for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, will be our guest speaker for Human Justice Sunday on Jan. 18, at the 9:15 and 10:45 a.m. services.

For 15 years prior to taking his position with the Post, Sylvester and his wife, Victoria, published Take Five, an investigative magazine. In addition to the opportunities provided through his work, he enjoys family life in his native St. Louis.

The prelude and postlude for the service will feature a string ensemble from the Cameron Youth Orchestra, a group of talented and musically gifted African-American youth from the St. Louis metropolitan area. The youth orchestra's mission is to train, develop, and cultivate the musical gifts and talents of African-American youth by promoting and creating opportunities that are not normally available to them in the field of classical music performance.

New "U"

New "U" sessions explain Unitarian Universalism and the meaning of Eliot Chapel for you. Ministers, laity, and class share thoughts and information; your questions create a part of the experience. New "U" is particularly interesting and helpful to those who may seek more involvement and membership in Eliot Chapel.

January 18, 12:00 noon to 6:00 p.m. (lunch included) is a one-day, extended session New "U" class, offered in lieu of the usual four session Sunday evening classes. Advance registration is required.

Next New "U" classes:
Sun., Feb. 15, 22, 29, and Mar. 7 from 5:30 - 7:30 p.m.
Wed., Apr. 21, 28, May 5 and 7* from 6:30 - 8:30 p.m.

*Newcomer potluck dinner

Adult Education and Enrichment

"Is It Natural To Be Moral?" is the question posed by Professor Ursula Goodenough of the Department of Biology at Washington University for the Jan. 18 Adult Education and Enrichment program. Dr. Goodenough will speak at 7:00 p.m. at Eliot Chapel. She begins with a look at moral sensibilities in primates - a natural morality. Then she considers how that morality continued and evolved as humans developed language, self-awareness, and cultural mores.

Women's Alliance

The Women's Alliance meets on the first, third, and fourth Tuesdays of the month at 9:30 to 11:45 a.m.

Tue., January 20 - "Two River Trips on the Danube." Coordinators - Marianne Pinney and Julie Triplett.

Tues. Jan. 27 - "Out of Context." Bring your favorite quotations. Coordinator - Janie Fowler.

Tues. Feb. 3 - Book Discussion. The Emperor of Ocean Park by Stephen Carter. Leader, Mary Widmer.

Life Enrichment Group
-- Sue Lunnemann and Linda Senn

Mark your calendars now for the LEGs gathering at Graham's Grill on Wednesday, January 21 at 7:00 p.m. to hear some good old steel drum music. This is your chance to get away to the Islands without leaving Kirkwood! Email Linda if you plan to attend, so we'll know how big a table to reserve.

Chili and Games Night 2004

Chili and Games night, Saturday, January 24 at 5:30 p.m. in Adams Hall, is a great evening for families. Sign up to bring your famous chili, dessert, crackers/bread, or soda. There is no charge for this event. There will be a competition for the Best Chili, Best Vegetarian Chili, and Best Dessert. Aprons will be awarded to the winners! After dinner there will be two rounds of games, such as Balderdash, Charades, Outburst etc., as well as special children's games, followed by an Awards Ceremony. It is a wonderful night for all ages.

Sign up sheet in Adams Hall. Babysitting will be available for children under 7 if you signed up by January 10. Brought to you by the FUN committee.

Eliot Hiking Schedule 2004

Feb. 7, 9:00 a.m. - Castlewood State Park (30 min.) Leader: Steve Lewis

Mar. 13, 9:00 a.m. - Rockwoods Reservation (40 min.) Leader: Larry Reutter

Apr. 3, 8:00 a.m. - Bike, Grafton to Pere Marquette State Park, or hike in the park (1 hr.) Leader: Sue Blandford

All hikes are on Saturdays this year and many are a short drive. All hikes meet at Eliot Parking lot at the time given. We leave 15 minutes later and carpool. Email details will be sent to those on Sue Blandford's hiking list. Contact her if you want to be on that list.

30 Somethings

30 Somethings is for the young adult population at Eliot. Maryland Heights Recreation Center is having an 80's Trivia Night on Fri., Feb. 27 at 7:00 p.m. The tickets are $12 dollars per person; which includes snacks and bever-ages. Reservations must be made by Feb. 3. Please call or email to place your reservations. Sara Losee.

Young People's Library
---- Irmgard Voss, Chair, Library Committee

In memory of Barbara C. (Bobby) Nutt, the Eliot Library Committee is dedicating the Young People's Library as the

A plaque with the above inscription is hung in the library.

Many years ago, Bobby founded the children's library at Eliot Chapel. She gradually added books for older children and teenagers to the collection, and it became known as the Young People's Library. It supports the needs of R.E. teachers and curricula.

Barbara Nutt also managed the DuBois Library, with its diversified selection of book topics, until her death on April 11, 2003.

Bobby volunteered her time and library skills to both libraries on a daily basis. She kept meticulous records from practically day one. The income generated by the yearly calendar sales for seventeen years and the Book Fair in conjunction with Women's Alliance are Barbara Nutt's legacy for careful selections of reading choices to foster an awareness of human and spiritual needs and to enhance the fullness of life.

The Eliot Library Committee upholds the Policy Statement for the Eliot Libraries.

Endowment Fund

Eliot Chapel has received a generous gift to the Endowment Fund from David Mottl in memory of his mother, Mary Mottl. Mary was an accomplished musician who shared her talents most generously with the Eliot community. Among the happy memories of her time with Eliot were not only her playing the harp beautifully at services, but also the after-service talks she would give about the instrument for anyone who wanted to learn more.

For many years, Eliot had an endowment fund, however its structure and the limitations were not precisely de-fined, and there were questions about its possible uses. Therefore, a new Endowment Fund was established in 1999. The Chapel by-laws state that gifts to, and the income of, the new Endowment Fund shall be accumulated and held as principal until the principal reaches $100,000. Thereafter, the income will be distributed among the Preservation Fund, community and world outreach, the Operating Fund, and the principal of the Endowment Fund itself. The principal of this fund is to be held in perpetuity. While we still have a long way to go to reach the $100,000, this gift is an important step towards Eliot's long-term financial security.

If you are interested in more information about gifts or bequests to Eliot Chapel, please contact Sue Kaiser at (314) 725-5881. Gifts to the Endowment Fund may be made at any time; special envelopes are available in Visitors' Corner. Gifts made in honor or in memory will be acknowledged to the named party or family members, and gifts to the Endowment Fund are acknowledged in the newsletter, approximately four times per year.

And the Winner Is ...
-- Sue Blandford, for the Partner Church Committee

Ann Petlin won Diane Weber's "Americana" braided rug. The raffle brought in $480 for our partner church, St. Martin. The money will go toward repairs to the church fence and repairs inside the church.

Mark your calendars for February 21, the night of our annual Partner Church Trivia Night.

Religious Education News
-- Joan Casey, RE Director,

Mark your calendars for Fri., Feb. 6 at 5:45 p.m. for an RE Family Potluck at Eliot Chapel. Our Religious Education Committee (the Family Support group and the Curriculum group) would like to invite everyone interested in families and Religious Education. Babysitting services will be offered for children too young to participate. Here's what is planned:

• Time for families to mingle and get to know each other, mixing 9:15 and 10:45 families
• Purely social time for children (games will be led by adults for the kids)
• Time to review resources to help parents discuss RE topics with their children.

Rev. Bonnie Vegiard will have some resources on the Bible that can help parents talk to their children about what a Unitarian Universalist understanding of the Bible may be. We expect to be finished around 8:00 p.m.

If your last name begins with A-G bring an entree; H-M bring a salad or veggies; N-R bring dessert; S-U bring an appetizer (or dessert); and V-Z bring juice or soda. We hope to see many families there!

We also want to remind everyone that Abilities Awareness morning is Jan. 18 during both services for children K - 5th grade. They will start off in Children's Chapel as usual, and then will participate in the program until the end of class time. This year's focus is "Hearing and Sight Differences." Lisa Dahlgren will lead the program. We expect it to be a fun and enlightening morning.

Music Notes
-- Jan Chamberlin, Music Director,

Coming up:

Jan. 18	Guest musicians: The Cameron Youth Ensemble String Quartet Choirs sing We Are One by Brian Tate.
Jan. 26	Tim Gardner will sing Simple Gifts by Bernstein with Ted Lau, piano and Donna Postel, flute. 9:15 - choir will sing Try Me Oh God by Navares 10:45 - choir will sing Create in Me, O God by Brahms.

Many thanks to Faith Rockenstein for donating her electronic keyboard/synthesizer to Eliot. Now Children's Chapel will have an instrument that our young pianists can play. Yeah!

We had a nice response to the call for singers to learn songs by rote in the style of Sweet Honey in the Rock. This new a cappella group of 11 women call themselves "Inner Voices." They sang in church for the first time on Jan. 11. Anyone interested can audition by contacting me.

Eliot Chapel Nursery School - Fall Enrollment

Forty years ago in Sept. 1963, Mary Louise Martin and Julie Triplett accepted their first students at the Eliot Chapel Nursery School. They began, under the sponsorship of Eliot Chapel Women's Alliance, with two classrooms and 15 children.

In the fall of 1964, Mary Lu Durbin began teaching in the school. At the time, the school was a cooperative with a teacher and a parent helper in each classroom. Since that time the school has grown and evolved until it now serves 148 children ages 2-1/2 through 5 years old in half-day part-time classes. It has a staff of 16 teachers, a treasurer, and a director and is no longer a cooperative, although parents participate in many important ways.

Beginning in January, we will be enrolling children for September 2004 classes. Although the nursery school is a separate legal entity, families affiliated with Eliot Chapel are given priority over other new families. Contact Sally Schoenecker for information at (314) 821-0982 during school hours.

2003 Tax Statements

Statements of tax-deductible contributions to Eliot Chapel for the calendar year 2003 are being mailed to everyone who contributed $250 or more during the year. This statement will be your receipt for tax purposes. If you believe an item is missing, please notify the office including check amount, number, and date; purpose (e.g., 2003-4 pledge, Christmas collection); and, if possible, the date the check cleared your bank.

Office Closed

The Eliot office will be closed on Jan. 18, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.

New Directory?

Several Members have requested that we compile a business directory comprised of members and friends of Eliot. Do you tutor children in math, build room additions, repair cars, sell insurance, or practice law? If you would like your name and a business description included in the proposed directory, please forward the information below to Nancy at Eliot, or email the information to .

• Your Name
• Phone #/Contact Info
• Business Name
• Brief Business Description

The deadline for receipt of information is Feb. 1. Provided we receive sufficient entries, the directory will be published in March.

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