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Inside This Issue

Who's Packing Your Parachute?
- Rev. Dr. Daniel Ó Connell, Lead Minister

A man named Charles Plum was a jet fighter pilot in Vietnam. He lectures about his experiences from time to time. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent six years as a prisoner of war. He survived that ordeal and now lectures about lessons learned from that experience.

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!"

"How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb. "I packed your parachute," the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, "I guess it worked!"

Plumb assured him, "It sure did - if your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today."

Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb writes, "I kept wondering what he might have looked like in a Navy uniform - a Dixie cup hat, a bib in the back and bell-bottom trousers. I wondered how many times I might have passed him on the Kitty Hawk. I wondered how many times I might have seen him and not even said, 'Good morning, how are you,' or anything because, you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor."

Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent on a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn't know.

In this season of light and dark, of presents and presence, we are reminded to be mindful of those who pack our parachutes, of those whose parachutes we pack, and of those in various uniforms - let us be thankful for those we love, for those who love us, and for every child of the universe we may come across.

Child Dedications

As a reminder, our Jan. 2 Circle of Life service will name the babies that were born in 2004. We will also be holding Child Dedication and Naming ceremonies for children at that service (regardless of when they were born). If you are interested in having your child(ren) participate in the Child Dedication, please contact Rev. Vegiard (314-821-0911 or ). Eliot's next Child Dedication ceremony will be held on Mother's Day.

Welcome, New Members
-- Claire Robertson, Membership Chair

We extend a warm welcome to these new members who signed the Eliot Chapel membership book on December 5: John and Fiona Eagleson, Elyse and Matt Glarner, Jennifer Henderson, Kevin and Renae Quinn, and Felisha Starkey.

We're so glad to have you as part of the Eliot community.

Congratulations

To Kim and Sean Stewart, and big sister Alexandria on the birth of Kallista Skye Stewart on Nov. 28.

Welcome!
- Ann Petlin, January 8, 2004

Each Sunday, a member of the Eliot community delivers the Sunday Morning Welcome. They share a personal story about how they came to be at Eliot Chapel, or what is meaningful here for them, or how they are living their faith.

These greetings are a time when members and friends get to tell how we came to Eliot Chapel. My answer is a simple one. I found Eliot Chapel by looking in the Yellow Pages. That was seven years ago today. But there is more than that to my journey towards Unitarian Universalism.

My husband was raised in a devout Presbyterian home, and I was raised in a similar Catholic one. When we married in 1982, we asked my husband's former teacher who was also a Unitarian minister to perform our ceremony. After our wedding we occasionally attended church at either one of our parents' congregations when duty called us to be in a church. But we attended no church of our own.

Fast forward to May of 1996. My sister and her husband invited me to attend their Unitarian church in San Luis Obispo, California. It was Memorial Day weekend, and it was a lay-led service. Eight women, all who were veterans of the Viet Nam War presented the service. They had formed a writer's group to share their experiences. Most of these women had not spoken to anyone at all about Viet Nam until they formed their group. Each woman read two pieces that she had written about Viet Nam. My favorite piece was an ode the one woman wrote to her Army boots. That church awed me. It thought that these women's voices were important enough to have them conduct an entire service.

My husband and I moved to St. Louis later in 1996. Although moving can be a wrenching experience, it can also be an opportunity to re-invent oneself. One of my goals was to join a church so that I could have some friends who were not also co-workers. So in mid-Jan. 1997, I found my way to Eliot Chapel. It was Human Justice Sunday, just like today. In the pulpit was a black woman who is a minister at a St. Louis Baptist church. Again this church impressed me when it gave the pulpit that day to a woman of a different faith. I also appreciated the welcome I received from the Eliot members who recognized right away that I was a visitor.

Eliot Chapel helped me find a new hometown here in the Midwest. When I went to Catholic church, Sunday mass was a duty, an obligation, something that I had to do to consider myself Catholic. Now each Sunday is an adventure that I look forward to all week. It is different every time. I have joined seekers like you who are exploring this free religious tradition. Eliot Chapel inspires me, empowers me, and has given me compassion and acceptance in a true community of friends.

In Memorium

Robert Detering, husband of the late Ruth Detering.

Be a Host in the New Year
- Tim Nicholson

We have heard through the grapevine than many people have thought about hosting, but hesitate to sign up because they do not know what they are getting themselves into. Room At The Inn will be giving a very brief (15 minute) presentation to all who are interested on Jan. 9, 2005 immediately following second service. Our goal is to tell what hosts do, and why hosting is enjoyable. We urge everyone to attend, even if you have no intention of hosting. After the brief presentation, RATI volunteers will answer any questions you may have.

This is not a recruitment meeting for new hosts, although we hope some people might become interested after attending. We plan to have another informal meeting in a couple of weeks geared towards recruitment and training. At that time, new, old, and prospective hosts will discuss hosting responsibilities in more detail. Although it is anticipated that people considering hosting for the first time will attend both meetings, it is not necessary that they do so. Our primary goal of both meetings is to make new people feel comfortable volunteering on Thursday nights.

Please attend our presentation on Jan. 9, 2005 immediately following second service and stay to ask questions afterward. We think you will be pleasantly surprised when you learn how rewarding the hosting experience is.

Help the Homeless

The sign-up sheets to volunteer for cooking, hosting, and doing laundry for Room At The Inn in January, February, and March are on the bulletin board in the hallway leading to Adam's Hall. Please look at your schedules and volunteer to help those who are in need.

Lead a Workshop

If you are interested in leading a workshop at the April 2005 District Assembly in Arlington Heights, IL, please complete an Assembly Workshop Presenter Proposal Form (available from Carol Hosmer at 708-236-0831 or ) and submit it by the Jan. 5, 2005 deadline. The theme of this year's assembly is: Creating Beloved Community: The Challenge and The Promise.

Madrigal Thanks ... - Denise Maue Dreyfus & Lydia Hopkins, Madrigal Volunteer Committee

To all Lords and Ladies who attended the 29th Annual Eliot Castle Madrigal Feast, we give you thanks and sing your praise. The Madrigal Volunteer committee would like to thank everyone who helped make wassail, set up, plate, wash, serve, clean up and else wise toiled to bring forth this year's Madrigal Feast. It does indeed take a village to create this event and we appreciate the generosity of the following individuals who donated their talents and effort:

Gordon Lewis, Bill Carver, Mark Nissen, Jeanne Wilke, Chuck Schuder, Doug Hopkins, Mary Meihaus, Dennis Woracheck, Billy Engel, Tom Gayer, Ann Petlin, Pat Habben, Georgie Herz, Roz Marx, Mary Taylor, Sarah Reutter, Rich Vaughn, Judith Anderson, Gail Rock, Margaret Stretch, Rikki Techner, Jeff Chamberlin, Jim Shucart, Evie Shucart, Margie Maclin, Jerry Higginbotham, Judy Glasscock, Elmer McNulty, Dot Brownfield, Kevin Brownfield, Rick Walters, Beth Rossow, Leslie Freeman, Ken Sakamoto, Barbara Bleisch, Misha Davydov, Fiona Eagleson, Kathy Laufersweiler, Philip Rock, David Cox, Janis Cox, Anne Sauer, Brenna Race, Laura Griesedieck, Cindi Gille-Rowley, Nora Ohenwald, Trip Gender, Doris Yohe, Michael Getty, Brian Vetruba, Corinne Esnault, Dotty Storer, Renee Ratng, Marilyn Schulze, Mel Jusich, Mary Taylor, Rhonda Phiropolous, Emma Phiropolous, Sarah Losee, Tiera Losee, Eve Sedovic, Sarah Carpenter, Judy Stucki-Simeon, Jule Leeman, JoAnne Rima, Sue Wilhelm, Kurt Leeman, Jeff Pack, Jordan Pack, Lee Streett, Sandra Rhodes, Joan English, Peggy Devoy, Don Oliver, Bill Erdman, Steven Mead, Holly Mead, Rick Walters, Ann Lemon, William Lemon, Larry Kehler, Dan Dreyfus, Jan Tetley, Trish Williams, Bruce Williams, Donna Springer, Mary Ann Swain, Dick Swain, Larry Reutter, Cleon Yohe, Tim Gardner, Ann Meneely, Tim Gardner, Brent Vaughn, Sue Blandford, Linda Korinek, Judy Highfill, Dave Day, Nancy Zvolanek, Lori Kesler, Jo Tiemann, Marilyn Fallert, Glenna Powell, Dotty Brenner, Dick Hearnes, Marge Nordic, Margie Maclin, Ted Berger, Christy Berger, Paul Drida, Judy Highfill, Bill Fitzgerald, Mike Hennon, Sara Johnson, Claire Robertson, Rich Heuermann, David Rabenau, Lori Allen, Tim McIntyre, Jerry Messer, Larry Ross, Brian McGowan, Mike Williams, Bob Meihaus, Karen Gottschalk, Judith Berger, Kathie Price, Joan Park, Margaret Hasse, Debbie Ross, Sue Lunneman, Sue Lyle, Bev Plumb, Julie Jordan, Kate McGrath, Donna Bossow, Mark Rowley, Christopher Rowley, Shawn Cummings, Kent Coffel, Ken Denson, Eric Denson, Pam Triplett, Sarah Reutter, Elitta De Armand, Lucy Freeman,

Rev. Daniel Ó Connell, for announcements, and the Office staff for numerous publications.

Many thanks to all singers, actors and tech support.

Finding Harmony

A group is meeting Sundays at 3:00 p.m. in Room 001 to practice medical Qi Gong and Laughter Yoga. All are welcome. There is no charge for the meeting, although at some point, donations may be encouraged to cover expenses. If you have questions, contact Jan Baldenweck.

It's Singletarian Party Time!
- Sue Lunnemann and Linda Senn

Singletarians - you're all invited to a highly festive, somewhat rowdy New Year's Eve party at Sue Lunnemann's house in Kirkwood. The fun begins at 8:00 p.m., Fri., Dec. 31. It's BYOB and bring a snack to share. We'll chat, solve the world's problems, sing, play games if the spirit moves us, and maybe, close to midnight, we'll dance the New Year in!

We do need your RSVP. Please ccontact Sue and let her know as soon as possible, definitely before Dec. 27, if you will be joining us. She'll give you her address.

The Singletarians group welcomes all single Eliot members (and friends of members) to its periodic social gatherings.

Environmental Issues Series

Ted Heisel, Executive Director of Missouri Coalition for the Environment, will speak on "Missouri's Big Rivers: Restoration and Rebirth",an update on changes being made to the large rivers in our state. Hear Ted in the Room 001 (Eagle Room) on Sun., Jan. 9 from 9:15 - 10:15 a.m. This is part of the Social Action Committee's series on Environmental Issues.

Welcoming Congregation

The Welcoming Congregation workshop series will continue Sun., Jan. 9 from 6:00 - 9:00 p.m. in Adams hall, with "Gender Socialization and Homophobia." All are welcome. To learn more about the Welcoming Congregation program, visit Welcoming Congregation or watch for future newsletter articles.

I'll See You ...

Join Rev. Daniel Ó Connell and other Eliot card sharks for an evening of poker the third [second] Thursday of each month. The next game will be Thu., Jan. 13 at 7:00 in Adams Hall. If you plan to join the game, please call the office or enter your name on the sign-up sheet on the bulletin board.

New "U" - Your Questions Answered

Your questions about Unitarian Universalism and the meaning of Eliot Chapel for you will be answered in this introductory class. Ministers, lay members, and you will share thoughts and information. Your questions are an important part of the experience. New "U" is particularly interesting and helpful to those who may seek more involvement and membership in Eliot Chapel.

The class is offered on Sat., Jan. 22 from 9:00 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. Lunch and refreshments will be provided. Please register in Visitors' Corner or through the office at (314) 821-0911. Childcare will be available if requested by Jan. 10.

This class will also be offered on Mar. 5.

WomanSpirit 2005
- Carolyn Burke

WomanSpirit 2005 (presented by the Women and Religion Committee, Central Midwest District of the Unitarian Universalist Association, and women of the Central Illinois Planning Committee) is being held Jan. 21 - 23, 2005 in Springfield, IL. The keynote speaker is Anna Blythe Lappe, co-author of Hope's Edge - the new Diet for a Small Planet, and there are great workshops, vendors, and activities lined up!

Remember to make your hotel reservations at the Springfield Hilton. Mention WomanSpirit.

The brochure and registration form are online at http://www.womenandreligion.org/WS2005/WS2005Main.htm.

Chili, Bunko & Bingo!!!
- Lydia Hopkins & Marcia McIntyre

Formerly Chili & Games Night, this year the FUN Committee is bringing you 2 new games - Bunko and Bingo! Join us for this fun-filled family night on Sat., Jan. 22 at 5:30 p.m. in Adams Hall! It's a new slant on an old tradition at Eliot Chapel. No wonder...it's a great opportunity to visit with Eliot members and friends of all ages! There will be Kids Games (for children 6 to 10) in a separate room, charades, and babysitting.

Prizes will be awarded for the best Chili, Vegetarian Chili, and Dessert. Don't be shy - enter one of your kitchen delights in the contest and you may win a hand-painted apron! Prizes will be awarded at Bunko and Bingo as well!

Your admission fee is to bring one of the following: Chili, Dessert, Bread/Crackers, or Soda. Look for the sign-up sheet in the hallway outside Adams Hall.

Childcare will be provided for those that are not participating in the games. Families needing childcare must sign up for this service in advance by Jan 8.

For more information contact: Vicki Skow (or Steve Dingus). We look forward to seeing you on the 22nd, so mark your calendars NOW!

Eliot Bridge Game

There will be an open bridge game once a month for singles and couples beginning in January. The games will be on the following Saturdays at 7:00 p.m. at Eliot: Jan. 29, Feb. 26, Mar. 19, Apr. 23, May 28, and Jun. 25.

If you would like to participate, contact Sue Webster at least one week in advance.

Communication Difficulties
- Gary Gray, for the Constructive Engagement Team

Communications difficulties - we all have them: getting into an unexpected argument, resolving a disagreement with a spouse, taking disciplinary action with a child, talking to your boss, making a decision with relatives, etc. Sometimes we handle them well, but just as often, or maybe more often, not so well, or even poorly. Communication problems arise when opinions vary, something important is at stake, and emotions are high. When emotions are high, too often, we resort to "fight" or "flight" and real communication stops.

The Constructive Engagement Team just finished facilitating a successful workshop on improving our ability to handle difficult situations, based on the book, Crucial Conversations. That book was the basis for Rev. Bonnie Vegiard's sermon in October titled Can Anybody Hear Me? Nine participants and the five team members learned to recognize crucial conversations before they turn ugly, to "start with heart," to "make it safe," and other skills and techniques for handling difficult communications.

A repeat workshop is planned for Sat., Feb. 26, 2005 in an all day format. We will need at least 10 participants. Any adult is welcome, including those outside the Eliot community. Child care can be provided if requested 2 weeks prior to the workshop. Participants will be expected to have read the book, Crucial Conversations; the workshop is based on a discussion of the material and practicing the skills and techniques. If you are interested, please mark your calendar, and contact the church office or me.

Women's Alliance

The Women's Alliance meets on the first, third, and fourth Tuesdays of the month at 9:30 to 11:45 a.m. in Adams Hall, unless otherwise noted.

Tues., Jan. 4 - Michelangelo and the Pope's Ceiling by Ross King. Lorraine Stern, Leader.

Religious Education News
-- Joan Casey, RE Director,

I hope that many of you were able to experience our annual Christmas Pageant and Holiday Party over the weekend of Dec. 11 and 12th. Nearly 90 children were in the pageant this year! There are so many people to thank for their hard work: LK Wilhelms, for her steady directorial hand; Nancy Collis, in her first year as our musical director; Jim Davis, for reworking the script and assisting the director; Vivian and Mike Antoine, for helping this year, with the intention of directing next year; Steve Lawrence, for setting up the sound system; Dave Storer, for doing sound at the second service; and Jan Chamberlin for directing the Angel Choir. We also want to thank the many role leaders, who helped to contain and corral the various performers: at 9:15, Jeff Pack with the shepherds; Aimee Campbell and Barbara Bleisch with the angels; Ellen Cowell and Katherine Geier with the flock; and Angela Cook with the multitudes. At 10:45, Margaret Gordon and Brian Ward with the shepherds; Mary Dingus and Teresa Reeves with the angels; Michelle Moller with the flock; Fiona Eagleson and Marissa Nauman with the multitudes; and Katy Henry with the narrators. A special thanks to Lisa Dahlgren for managing the group of students with speaking roles.

Our Holiday Party was also successful and we had a lively group of participants. Amy Kruger of the Special Events Committee deserves a huge thank you for finding ways to make treasures out of so many leftover craft supplies from prior years, not to mention hours of preparation work for the party. Also thanks to Kevin Moore and Jim Gender for creating the Yule Log room, complete with power tools. Individual party helpers were: Lisa Beck, Wendy Brooks, Catherine Burgess, Nicole Chaput, Debbie Fechter, Donna Fox, Julie Leemann, Susan Pritchett, Karen Schinsky, Rachel Spann, Nancy Spargo, and Laura Waldman. Thanks also to Camille Fried for bringing snacks and making an extra snack run when it looked like we were running out of food.

We also want to thank all of you who selected a child from the Giving Tree. You helped to make a young child's Christmas a lot brighter!

Happy Holidays!

Music Notes
-- Jan Chamberlin, Music Director,

A Night at the Opera (note change of date)
Warm cold January with an evening of entertainment! On Sat., Jan. 29 at 8:00 p.m. in the sanctuary, the Music Committee will host a fund raiser for Eliot with guests as well as home-grown performers singing their favorite arias. (Expect some opera buffa!) The chorus of the evening will be Va Pensiero by Verdi. Tickets will be available in advance for $20. Reserve the date!

Coming up:

Dec. 24 (Christmas Eve)	The Eliot Handbells will provide music for the 5:00 p.m. service. At the 6:30 and 8:00 p.m. services, the Freivogel Family String Quartet will play the prelude, and the combined choirs will sing In the Bleak Midwinter and We'll Dress the House. At the 10:00 p.m. service, Pamela Triplett, soprano, and Robert Herman, oboe, will perform pieces by Bach, Rutter and Yon.
Dec. 26	Timothy Gardner will sing the music. Choirs have the day off!

Pledge Payments

Operating Fund pledge statements for the second quarter (Sep. - Dec.) of Eliot's fiscal year were mailed in early December. These will include all payments received through Sun., Nov. 28. Please review these statements now and, if you have any questions, contact the office with check numbers, amounts, and dates so that any discrepancies can be resolved before year-end.

Annual tax statements will be sent in January to all those households that, in aggregate, made $250 or more in tax-deductible contributions to Eliot Chapel during calendar year 2004. (For donations less than $250, your check(s) will be your receipt for IRS purposes.)

The office will be closed between Christmas and New Year's - the last date for checks to be received in order to be posted and reflected on the 2004 statements is December 30.

Holiday Office Hours

The office will be closed from Fri., Dec. 24 through Mon., Jan. 3. We will reopen at 8:00 a.m. on Tue., Jan. 4. Please note that the office will be closed on Mon., Jan. 3.

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