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A Note from Reverend Bonnie

Lessons in Giving

Many of us have experienced the spontaneous generosity of children. We love it when we see a child helping another, giving out hugs and kisses, making pictures for others, and various other kinds of giving and sharing. Yet, we also see the selfish side, the times when they don't want to share, everything is "mine!" and a sense of real resentment about being expected to give something to someone else. It's kind of disappointing when you explain to a child about someone else who has lost their home or doesn't have food, and that child is still resistant to giving "their own money" to the children's chapel offering, for example. My own kids are perfectly happy to give a dollar that I may give to them for the offering, but if I suggest some of their own allowance be used, it's a different story.

But this is all part of growing up. Telling our children how important it is to give, no matter how persuasive we are, really has very little impact. If they get very possessive about what's "theirs" we sometimes react with frustration and may even tell them they're selfish. None of this will instill any sense of giving as the right thing to do.

What seems to work best with children is example, and firm, steady expectations. They need to see their parents giving to the things that matter to them. They need to know that their parents choose to give up something else they could do with that money in order to give to others. And then they need a firm, non-judgmental expectation that they will do the same. One example I have heard of is an allowance of $3 a week: one dollar to save, one to give to a good cause, and the final one to spend as they wish. That does mean that it becomes a little more like "their money" that they're giving away, yet it is simply the expectation. It was a little startling to me to think about $3 each week (especially for two children!) but when I thought about it more closely, it isn't all that expensive. And the amount can be scaled to fit whatever circumstances you have. I think we should expect and accept feelings of resentment or possessiveness in children. We can't "talk" them out of these feelings. They grow out of them, through example and experience.

This month, at the Nov. 6 Family Worship service, we will be handing out the "Guest At Your Table" boxes. This is a fund-raiser for the UU Service Committee. They ask families to put coins or bills into the box each day, as if there was a guest from another country sitting right there at the table with you. We will collect the boxes in Children's Chapel on Dec. 18. This is one opportunity to give to something important to you. There are many others. Find the one that's right for you!

Faithfully,
Bonnie

November RE Calendar

Christmas Pageant & Holiday Party

Christmas Pageant information and registration will be distributed at the Family Worship on November 6. The Pageant is on December 11 at both services and will follow the same format as last year. Students 5th grade and up get the speaking parts and must be able to perform at both services. Younger children will perform at either the 9:15 or 10:45 service. Rehearsal for the pageant is on Saturday morning, December 10, with times varying depending on roles. Mike and Vivian Antoine will be our pageant directors and Nancy Collis returns as our music director.

Our Holiday Party will be on Saturday, December 10 from 10:00 am to 12:00 noon. The party runs concurrently with the pageant rehearsal. Children who are in the pageant will have time to participate at the party, and all children, whether in the pageant or not, are invited to attend. We hope that lots of you will be able come to the party and have fun making crafts, playing the dreidl game and enjoying treats.

Thanksgiving Dinner

Thanksgiving will be celebrated again this year with dinner on Thanksgiving in Adams Hall. Games and set-up start at 4:00 pm, with dinner at 5:00 pm. All are welcome to attend. We are trying to make sure that everyone who wants to attend is able to do so, and if you need a ride or can provide a ride please indicate that when you sign up outside of Adams Hall. This has been a great event in the past with games, good food and general fun. Call Viv or Mike Antoine (314/821-5535) with any questions. Hope to see you there.

Thanksgiving Essays

Once again, we would like children in grades 1st - 6th to write essays about what they are thankful for and why. We will choose two children at each of the three hours to read their essays at the Thanksgiving Bread Services on November 20. Submissions need to be handed in by November 13 and should note which service the family plans to attend (9:15, 10:15 or 11:15). Forms will be passed out at the Family Worship on November 6.

Childcare for Events

Here at Eliot Chapel, we really want parents with children to be able to participate in our many programs and events, which is why we try to offer childcare for most of them. However, because of our safe church policies, childcare expenses can really add up! We ask that families only request childcare if they really plan on using it. We appreciate your cooperation and we hope to see you at our next event or program.

Family Worship

We will have another Family Worship on November 6 in Adams Hall. It will run concurrently with the adult services. Families with children Pre-K through 5th grade are encouraged to attend together. If that is not possible, teachers will be available in room 105 on the upper level (for kids Pre-K - 1st grade) and in room 005 on the lower level (for kids 2nd - 5th grade). Children who are dropped off will attend Family Worship with these teachers and can be picked up back in the classrooms after the service.

Secret Pals

Thanks to everyone who participated in the Secret Pals program in October. We had 56 sets of pals and over a dozen party helpers who helped pull it off. A good time was had by all!

Parent Reminders

• Don't forget to sign out your children (Nursery - 5th grade) after class each Sunday.
• On these chilly mornings, be sure to bring a jacket or coat, since classes often go outside.

Playgroup Fun

Visiting families

We ask that families register their children in Religious Education classes by the third visit. If you have any questions, please see Joan Casey.

Youth Calendar

Youth News

All Eliot Katrina Workday

There are 31 apartments that are being renovated by Faith Beyond Walls for families from New Orleans. On October 22, the Sr. and Jr. Youth Groups worked in Kinloch with Faith Beyond Walls to prepare these units for families to move into this month.

This was a chance to stretch ourselves as we offered our gifts of time and talent beyond the walls of Eliot Chapel.

Susan Maginn, Youth Director

Have a Milestone in your life to share? Have a Milestone in your life to share? Know of an Eliot student living his or her faith? Please contact Joan Casey so that we can share your family's news in REjuvenation!, our children's RE newsletter, and on our RE bulletin board leading into Adams Hall. For More News... To learn more about our newly registered families or who has a birthday in November, please pick up a paper copy of REjuvenation! today.

This newsletter is a product of the Eliot Chapel Religious Education Department. Please direct any articles, comments, or questions to Joan Casey (Religious Education Director) at 314-821-0911 or at . An article must be submitted no later than the 20th of each month to ensure it appearing in the next issue.